The honeymoon is over. I have a theory that I would like this honeymoon to last forever, so that we could have a good relationship going on between the two of us. But yesterday shows that I was wrong. I want to prove them wrong, by saying that in a relationship, there is no such thing as forever honeymoon. I want to make it last, but it takes two to tango. I can't do this alone. I need help from him too.
He gave me silent treatment last nite, and its painful. Painful nite... We talked, but not as talkative as before. I don't even dare to bring up the issue. I don't even feel that I'm mocking him by saying that he's English is not that good. Seriously, it was suppose to be a joke. But i guess he took it seriously.
When he came back from work, as usual, I treat him the way I do every time he comes home. The only problem is that, we don't talk. I don't dare to talk because I'm scared that I'll hate myself with what I have to say. So I bite my tongue and hold my peace. And he did the same. We only talked for necessary things. I keep on saying "I'm sorry"... and he keep on answering, "forget about it. I admit I'm not that good!" which makes me feels more guilty. Have I hurt him again this time??? What should I do?
At this point, last nite, I cried. I'm tired. I'm tired of living in this body of mine. Tired of trying so hard just to impress other people. Trying so hard to be other people, instead of myself. I'm tired. I do have a thought that I don't wanna live anymore. I wanna stop breathing and just die. I hate to feel this way... This is one of the reason why I'm like this... gosh, being in love is so painful...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
reality bites!love stings!but that is life.to accept or just forget about it.be who u are,if he can't accept who your true self is than u have to decide sumthing.for your own good.life is not a fairytale.are u guys living together?
susan
Hi Susan,
no, we're not. He just come over for dinner if its not too late.
Its a nice song ........ "First Cut Is The Deepest" and I love to listen to it till today. Singing along will bring back sweet memories of the past and of course the beauty of LOVE that the almighty have bestowed upon us.
Hi Nomie, not again .......... what happened this time around ? Well, starting from the days of Adam & Eve, LOVE was never an easy game to play. Much to my surprise this shouldn't have happened to you again so soon though. You should have learned a lot from "The Boy" experience and give yourself ample room to breathe before embarking on a new relationship. Remember the golden principles of Stephen Covey which I have mentioned to you much earlier.
Never give up life easily ......... you did great and there's nothing wrong with you. There is a malay saying "Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih" not for you though but for your partner of course! If indeed his "English" is poor, then he should have taken your comment positively and have a free lesson from you instead! Why keep silence ???? Guessed you should be able to gauge his commitment in your relationship with him by now. How could he be so petty ? His pivotal role seems to be missing ............ move on with life gal.
Xbaee
Things went well now... maybe I wasn't ready to see this coming, that's why i react likewise...but the main point is that, he forgave me and im willing to learn the pros and cons.... :D
thank you Xbaee
Marvelous! Glad to hear that ...... both of you have to master the balancing act to reach the podium harmoniously. Think before you leap, the poignancy of parting can be very disturbing.
Xbaee
Quote "U learn to like someone when u find out what makes them laugh, but u can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry !" Unquote ..........
Xbaee
Post a Comment