Its been a while since my last post. Its been a crazy ride, 2008... a lot of things happens to me this year... a lot of first time things happens to me. My Nunez, Nora Leblanc, my 'bapa angkat' remarried, skirts, Gagarin, Harris, Bali trip again with Tina and other stuff.
I'm wrapping it up in my boxes of memories... A lot of good memories to be cherished. And bad memories to remind me of how lucky am I to be this alive and this energetic even after what had happened.
God knows how much I do want to move on. But its not just time yet. And I have to wait patiently. Bali trip was superb. But this time around, not so much picture, as I'm really on my holiday retreat.
So, I'm hoping new things would in store for me next year. Good things to boost up my life. Maybe love life, a serious committed love life. And perhaps good financial.
So to all the bloggers, I wish you Happy New Year, 2009!!!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Apabila cerita bermula
Apabila cerita bermula, bermulalah satu episod baru dalam kehidupanku. Bermulalah langkah utama untuk ku meneruskan kehidupan ku yang penuh warna warninya. Tidak kurang juga denga n kejadian-kejadian yang tidak diingini berlaku. Namun itu semua ketentuan Tuhan.
Perjalanan kehidupanku yang penuh berliku, namun aku tetap yakin, itu semua ketentuan dari Nya. Dugaan untuk kita terus hidup. Allah tidak akan melupakan hamba-hambanya, malah sering mengingatkan hamba-hambanya dengan memberi pelbagai jenis dugaan kepada mereka. Namun kita sebagai hamba-Nya sering terlupa akan kewujudannya di sekeliling kita.
Kali ini Allah duga ku dengan perasaan yang indah, yang ingin ku elak-elakkan selama ini. Keinginan ku untuk berumahtangga dan memilikin anak-anak ku sendiri sememangnya menjadi idaman setiap wanita yang ada di dunia ini. (err... bukan semua...) Tuhan dugaku bukan hanya denan perasaan gembira, tapi juga perasaan ragu, takut dan curiga.
Ku ingin meneruskan kehidupanku seperti yang lalu. Tapi Tuhan sayangkan aku.. mengingatkan aku bahawa aku masih lagi punyai tanggungjawab untuk-Nya. Jadi Tuhan bagiku dugaan untuk sedar bahawa kaki ku masih berpijak di bumi yang nyata.
Faizharris, terima kasih kerana hadir dalam hidupku....
Perjalanan kehidupanku yang penuh berliku, namun aku tetap yakin, itu semua ketentuan dari Nya. Dugaan untuk kita terus hidup. Allah tidak akan melupakan hamba-hambanya, malah sering mengingatkan hamba-hambanya dengan memberi pelbagai jenis dugaan kepada mereka. Namun kita sebagai hamba-Nya sering terlupa akan kewujudannya di sekeliling kita.
Kali ini Allah duga ku dengan perasaan yang indah, yang ingin ku elak-elakkan selama ini. Keinginan ku untuk berumahtangga dan memilikin anak-anak ku sendiri sememangnya menjadi idaman setiap wanita yang ada di dunia ini. (err... bukan semua...) Tuhan dugaku bukan hanya denan perasaan gembira, tapi juga perasaan ragu, takut dan curiga.
Ku ingin meneruskan kehidupanku seperti yang lalu. Tapi Tuhan sayangkan aku.. mengingatkan aku bahawa aku masih lagi punyai tanggungjawab untuk-Nya. Jadi Tuhan bagiku dugaan untuk sedar bahawa kaki ku masih berpijak di bumi yang nyata.
Faizharris, terima kasih kerana hadir dalam hidupku....
Friday, November 7, 2008
Online Dating Services
I was tempted at first, about this online dating services. The idea of meeting new people and see how they are, makes me want to seek more friends online. Until one day, I knew this one particular guys. One thing about the net, I will never trust what I see or hear until I have all the evidence in my hand.
So, this thing happens to me. I met this guy, who claims from London. His name is Robert George, who works in construction of chemical factory. He claims that he's managing his father's factory in London. When I asked what's the factory name, he left me with Dynamic Investment Limited. I try to google the name, but there's no hard evidence of this factory being exist. But knowing that he calls me most of the time, I was playing along with the game. But me, being the baby sister of police officer from crime division, notice that his voice was not entirely British. See, I was with Nunez, and still am, know how a British talks like. But his accent was not very British. And he claims that his mother was from Chile and his father from London.
Things went fine at first, since I dont really put my seriousness in this relationship. Never does... Until this one fine day, he asked for my address, which I stupidly gave him. The next thing I know, he's sending over a laptop and in secret, cash of 5 figures foreign currency. Then I started to think, this is a scam. No one would ever send a money in a parcel, since there is wire transfer services available.
I was thinking of the negative most of the time. With the parcel bill looks so suspicious...
They eventually use a third person to send over the parcel. His name stated there is Davis Morrison. Which is entirely a lie. And the best thing was that Robert called me the night before the parcel is suppose to arrive. 3 hours later, this Davis Morrison called me. And you know what, they both have the same voice. But i didn't get a chance to make a background check on Davis Morrison since it was late. What I remember was that he said that the parcel is still with the custom in KLIA. He'll call me as soon as he gets news from the custom.
In the morning, he call me up again saying that the parcel is still with the custom and i have to pay RM3500 for the clearance fee on the custom side. There and then, i realize that this was all a lie. Luckily I knew it and being suspicious about everything from the very beginning. I only said okay to everything that he said. He even asked a lady to talk to me, pretending her as the custom officer. My mistake was, i didn't ask for her name and her designation. But i okayed to most of what they said. But i never agreed on paying or doing anything. He sent me the details of the account from that particular person that supposingly the custom officer.
I immediately called up my uncle who's husband and wife working with the Malaysian Royal Custom (Kastam DiRaja Malaysia) My uncle is in the preventive department. So I bet that he knew better about this. Told him about the story, and he said there is no such thing of 'clearance fee'. The only thing that a receiver have to pay is the duty fee that only applies to dutied products. He advice me not to fall into this situation. But he was not happy with someone using Malaysian Royal Custom for doing this kind of scam.
I delayed the action until Davis Morrison gets very impatient. We fought on the phone, on arguing about the paying part. I asked him to ask Mr Robert George to pay for the fee's but he knew there and then, that Mr Robert George went to Romania, which a middle person shouldn't know about it. He even mention the term money laundering in our conversation for not be able to pay for the so called 'clearance fee'. I nearly yelled at him for not being understand at my situation until my cousin cool me off.
He called me a few time that day, but I didn't want to answer as my boiling level is still high. Until Saturday afternoon, I answer his call calmly. He was furious at first, of me not able to pay for the clearance fee. He said that he won't be able to leave Malaysia unless the parcel is already with me. I told him to leave it with the custom. He said that he will leave all the details about me to the custom. He even blackmailing me saying that the custom will find me if they found out about the content of the parcel under money laundering charges. I calmly said, its ok... i filed a police report already. He immediately changed his tone and disconnect the phone call. Then and there we knew that it was all a scam.
So, my advice, girls, guys, pakcik, makcik, auntie, uncles, brothers & sisters... please be careful of money laundering syndicate. We wouldn't know about this kind of thing happens to us, unless you already knew that you made a wrong move. So, I would hope for this Robert George or Davis Morrison to be charge wisely for money laundering and scam! Please, help us all to stop this kind of money laundering. I mean, who would give away such a huge amount freely to us?? Think about it!!!
So, this thing happens to me. I met this guy, who claims from London. His name is Robert George, who works in construction of chemical factory. He claims that he's managing his father's factory in London. When I asked what's the factory name, he left me with Dynamic Investment Limited. I try to google the name, but there's no hard evidence of this factory being exist. But knowing that he calls me most of the time, I was playing along with the game. But me, being the baby sister of police officer from crime division, notice that his voice was not entirely British. See, I was with Nunez, and still am, know how a British talks like. But his accent was not very British. And he claims that his mother was from Chile and his father from London.
Things went fine at first, since I dont really put my seriousness in this relationship. Never does... Until this one fine day, he asked for my address, which I stupidly gave him. The next thing I know, he's sending over a laptop and in secret, cash of 5 figures foreign currency. Then I started to think, this is a scam. No one would ever send a money in a parcel, since there is wire transfer services available.
I was thinking of the negative most of the time. With the parcel bill looks so suspicious...
They eventually use a third person to send over the parcel. His name stated there is Davis Morrison. Which is entirely a lie. And the best thing was that Robert called me the night before the parcel is suppose to arrive. 3 hours later, this Davis Morrison called me. And you know what, they both have the same voice. But i didn't get a chance to make a background check on Davis Morrison since it was late. What I remember was that he said that the parcel is still with the custom in KLIA. He'll call me as soon as he gets news from the custom.In the morning, he call me up again saying that the parcel is still with the custom and i have to pay RM3500 for the clearance fee on the custom side. There and then, i realize that this was all a lie. Luckily I knew it and being suspicious about everything from the very beginning. I only said okay to everything that he said. He even asked a lady to talk to me, pretending her as the custom officer. My mistake was, i didn't ask for her name and her designation. But i okayed to most of what they said. But i never agreed on paying or doing anything. He sent me the details of the account from that particular person that supposingly the custom officer.
I immediately called up my uncle who's husband and wife working with the Malaysian Royal Custom (Kastam DiRaja Malaysia) My uncle is in the preventive department. So I bet that he knew better about this. Told him about the story, and he said there is no such thing of 'clearance fee'. The only thing that a receiver have to pay is the duty fee that only applies to dutied products. He advice me not to fall into this situation. But he was not happy with someone using Malaysian Royal Custom for doing this kind of scam.
I delayed the action until Davis Morrison gets very impatient. We fought on the phone, on arguing about the paying part. I asked him to ask Mr Robert George to pay for the fee's but he knew there and then, that Mr Robert George went to Romania, which a middle person shouldn't know about it. He even mention the term money laundering in our conversation for not be able to pay for the so called 'clearance fee'. I nearly yelled at him for not being understand at my situation until my cousin cool me off.
He called me a few time that day, but I didn't want to answer as my boiling level is still high. Until Saturday afternoon, I answer his call calmly. He was furious at first, of me not able to pay for the clearance fee. He said that he won't be able to leave Malaysia unless the parcel is already with me. I told him to leave it with the custom. He said that he will leave all the details about me to the custom. He even blackmailing me saying that the custom will find me if they found out about the content of the parcel under money laundering charges. I calmly said, its ok... i filed a police report already. He immediately changed his tone and disconnect the phone call. Then and there we knew that it was all a scam.
So, my advice, girls, guys, pakcik, makcik, auntie, uncles, brothers & sisters... please be careful of money laundering syndicate. We wouldn't know about this kind of thing happens to us, unless you already knew that you made a wrong move. So, I would hope for this Robert George or Davis Morrison to be charge wisely for money laundering and scam! Please, help us all to stop this kind of money laundering. I mean, who would give away such a huge amount freely to us?? Think about it!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Jason Mraz...I'm Yours
To write something good, you have to write something that you know. This is what I know. So have I told my collegue this evening as we heading out to go back from work, I'll be writing something in my blog. Just to let it out from my system. What was the word I use it with her this evening.... owh! "Nukilan perasaan haruslah disusun atur dalam bentuk perkataan agar terlahir dan terzahir perasaan dan diluahkan keluar dari keresahan hati dan nurani."
Once upon a time, there live a sweet looking young lady that enjoys most of her single life. She was devastated for not being able to make it for the 1st round testing qualification of a rookie racing team. Yet she's enjoying for having the company of the Jom Heboh crew at the place she always hang around with her fellow friends.
That was the night when everything seems so packed, and very thoughtful of her thinking that it will be boring as the previous night was. But, it end up to be something different. Good things happens to someone who just let go of something that they really want and dream about.
As usual, this young lady was enjoying the band that playing at the time and was sweating with her sweat as she dance unstopable with her friends. She was definitely enjoying the time of her life, when this gentlemen offered her drinks which she decline at first. But the gentlement insisted her for having it. So she did. She took the drink and drank it.
There's a number of friend that this gentlement have which she had her eyes on this one long haired gentlement wearing black and white snowcap. But she's being herself, keeping her hands of the guy. So she just wilding around like usual, with her 3 other close friends. When she gets to talk to this one guy from the same group. The guy gave her his card when he realise that she often goes to KL. Then towards the finale of the performance, she gone crazy with this other cute guy who's also wearing snowcap. Til she couldn't go on anymore. She just sat by the stage and watch the humans dancing around like she always do.
Til that moment, the short hair guy with the red snowcap invites her to dance. She decline politely, saying that she's tired and need a rest. But the guy keep on insisting til she couldn't bear it no more. She was so determine to flirt with this guy so the guy tasted her side of wicked and naughty person. They both fitted very well and seems that both of them have the instant chemistry. It very rare to see her dancing around with anonymous guys. But this one is an exception. Eventually, they both enjoying themselves and like it very much. But both of them did a stupid mistake. They stared into each other eyes. Both of them was hooked.
It was the song "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz made their night. It was their song and a song of thousand memories only from one night. Both of them dance in one rhythm and dances as one. Their body fitted each other very well.
As they are leaving, that was when they learn about each other names. But she didn't dare to give her phone number. Its just not her style. But she did a good deed though to them. She sent them back to the hotel since its late and raining heavily. And she was hoping that she could meet with them again in the morning or later that night.
She deliberately text the guy that gave her his business card, just by telling him her number and sent her regard to the red snowcap guy. She eventually went to watch the sound check event. She did saw him but they were too busy doing the arrangement for the musical instrument. She couldn't be bother to disturb him, saying that she could meet up with them later that night.
When she went to the place she met the red snowcap guy, she receive a message from him after midnite. She was estactically happy and jumping up and down happy for that to happen. She was so excited to meet up again with him and finally she took him out for a ride around the town and sat down for a drink. They talk and talked until they are so hard to let go of each other.
And now, she miss him so much as he left first thing in the morning. It was a hell and heaven of a weekend.....
And officially, she miss Gagarin so much....
Once upon a time, there live a sweet looking young lady that enjoys most of her single life. She was devastated for not being able to make it for the 1st round testing qualification of a rookie racing team. Yet she's enjoying for having the company of the Jom Heboh crew at the place she always hang around with her fellow friends.
That was the night when everything seems so packed, and very thoughtful of her thinking that it will be boring as the previous night was. But, it end up to be something different. Good things happens to someone who just let go of something that they really want and dream about.
As usual, this young lady was enjoying the band that playing at the time and was sweating with her sweat as she dance unstopable with her friends. She was definitely enjoying the time of her life, when this gentlemen offered her drinks which she decline at first. But the gentlement insisted her for having it. So she did. She took the drink and drank it.
There's a number of friend that this gentlement have which she had her eyes on this one long haired gentlement wearing black and white snowcap. But she's being herself, keeping her hands of the guy. So she just wilding around like usual, with her 3 other close friends. When she gets to talk to this one guy from the same group. The guy gave her his card when he realise that she often goes to KL. Then towards the finale of the performance, she gone crazy with this other cute guy who's also wearing snowcap. Til she couldn't go on anymore. She just sat by the stage and watch the humans dancing around like she always do.
Til that moment, the short hair guy with the red snowcap invites her to dance. She decline politely, saying that she's tired and need a rest. But the guy keep on insisting til she couldn't bear it no more. She was so determine to flirt with this guy so the guy tasted her side of wicked and naughty person. They both fitted very well and seems that both of them have the instant chemistry. It very rare to see her dancing around with anonymous guys. But this one is an exception. Eventually, they both enjoying themselves and like it very much. But both of them did a stupid mistake. They stared into each other eyes. Both of them was hooked.
It was the song "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz made their night. It was their song and a song of thousand memories only from one night. Both of them dance in one rhythm and dances as one. Their body fitted each other very well.
As they are leaving, that was when they learn about each other names. But she didn't dare to give her phone number. Its just not her style. But she did a good deed though to them. She sent them back to the hotel since its late and raining heavily. And she was hoping that she could meet with them again in the morning or later that night.
She deliberately text the guy that gave her his business card, just by telling him her number and sent her regard to the red snowcap guy. She eventually went to watch the sound check event. She did saw him but they were too busy doing the arrangement for the musical instrument. She couldn't be bother to disturb him, saying that she could meet up with them later that night.
When she went to the place she met the red snowcap guy, she receive a message from him after midnite. She was estactically happy and jumping up and down happy for that to happen. She was so excited to meet up again with him and finally she took him out for a ride around the town and sat down for a drink. They talk and talked until they are so hard to let go of each other.
And now, she miss him so much as he left first thing in the morning. It was a hell and heaven of a weekend.....
And officially, she miss Gagarin so much....
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sempurna
My life is complete now... with everything I have done, accomplish and succeed. I've entered for the Redbull Female Driver Search and was shortlisted for the compulsory round at the roadshow that they have in Boulevard Kuching this weekend. But sadly, i have to let my dreams slip away this time, as i can't afford to go to Kuching at that time. Wish they just could have done it here, in Miri. Since there will be Jom Heboh over the weekend.
My sister in crime, Nora LeBlanc just left for Houstan, with my little nephew, Brandon Lee LeBlanc. I miss them already. I feel bad for bapak, as he was alone and lonely and miss us all. For not being around him and to make him happy. But, life goes on though..
So, what else stores for me. This will tells a lot about me and the time I spent with Nora for the past few weeks... and sis, i still keep the kiss on my rear view mirror....
Kau begitu sempurna
Di mataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu
Di setiap langkahku ku kan
selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan
Hidupku tanpa cintamu
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
tak kan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adlah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Kau genggam tanganku saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh kau bisikkan dan hapus semua sesalku
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Sayangku engkau begitu sempurna.. sempurna.. sempurna..
My sister in crime, Nora LeBlanc just left for Houstan, with my little nephew, Brandon Lee LeBlanc. I miss them already. I feel bad for bapak, as he was alone and lonely and miss us all. For not being around him and to make him happy. But, life goes on though..
So, what else stores for me. This will tells a lot about me and the time I spent with Nora for the past few weeks... and sis, i still keep the kiss on my rear view mirror....
Kau begitu sempurna
Di mataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujamu
Di setiap langkahku ku kan
selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa ku bayangkan
Hidupku tanpa cintamu
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
tak kan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adlah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Kau genggam tanganku saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh kau bisikkan dan hapus semua sesalku
Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidup ku lengkapi diriku oh sayang engkau begitu sempurna .. sempurna
Sayangku engkau begitu sempurna.. sempurna.. sempurna..
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Joy of my life...
I've been stronger this time around... and happier... I'm enjoying the moment of my life at the moment. I can manage to deal with my feelings with my sister being away for this year's Eid Mubarak, being alone again during Ramadhan, and feeling this way about Nunez. If last time, I had mixed feelings inside me, but now... I'm less emotional, as he always accuse me off... Being sappy and emotional... Well baby, I'm not.
Its less than one week before the Eid Mubarak. I dont really into it anymore... Not like I use to feel when I was little kid... Maybe my maturity sets into my mind that its just another ordinary day to live on.
I had tonnes of fun when my sister was around. I miss her already. Like I told her, 2 more years, you would not see it end that soon though...
In my last post, I did mention about my granny suffers brain cancer... She pass away last month, on the 3rd of August. (may her soul rest in peace). I miss her.... ( a moment of silence)
So, can't wait what tomorrow has stores for me. See what kind of gift I will be receiving... See what kind of reaction you will read this... ;) love u lots Nunez.... take care...
Its less than one week before the Eid Mubarak. I dont really into it anymore... Not like I use to feel when I was little kid... Maybe my maturity sets into my mind that its just another ordinary day to live on.
I had tonnes of fun when my sister was around. I miss her already. Like I told her, 2 more years, you would not see it end that soon though...
In my last post, I did mention about my granny suffers brain cancer... She pass away last month, on the 3rd of August. (may her soul rest in peace). I miss her.... ( a moment of silence)
So, can't wait what tomorrow has stores for me. See what kind of gift I will be receiving... See what kind of reaction you will read this... ;) love u lots Nunez.... take care...
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Its been a while....
It's been a while since my last post. I've been very busy lately with my work, my life. My little sister came back for summer holiday and yeah, we all miss her. They manage to go to Langkawi (my parents and Nadya) and all of us went to Kota Kinabalu to visit Narnie. Did I mention that my Narnie suffers from brain tumor? Its cancerious and stage 3. She's bed resting and all my aunts and uncles are making her comfortable. She had her radiation to reduce the size of the tumor. She started having hair falling of her head. She has less movement on the right side of her body as the tumor affecting her nerves.
To add up on the story, I nearly lost my Sony Ericsson during our visit to my Narnie's place. The day we suppose to leave for Miri, my uncle Georgie, found my phone, under the tea table. Thank GOD!!! Otherwise, I'll be losing my phone for the second time this year.
So, we're now back in Miri. Mama and Papa and Nadya are in Sibu. Nadya is enjoying her stay there. (Duh!!! its my hometown though!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!) Owh yeah... I finally bought my second motorbike. Not as I thought that I suppose to buy though... but its ok. SInce the fuel price shooting up sky high, I might just possess 125cc motorbike. Buying over 500cc motorbike is just as equivalent as buying a brand new car. Which is useless!!! Hahaha... a brand new white EGO S... Minah motor beb!!! hahahahaha....
My dearest friend, Meldia and Randall of the Nightbyrdz are leaving Marriot by the end of August. New band will be coming in September. I started Salsa class with Gador and Jack. Eventually, Gador is getting better and i'm getting so excited in my dance. Kwok Foo doesn't seem happy with my adrenalin towards my dance. As if i'm so into myself..
So, i better get of now. I's using someone's laptop to write my blog as I'm waiting more database to be keyed in. (Shhhss... i'm working part-timely with Shell recruitment crew for the fresh graduates recruits at Marriot)
Okay then... till my next post!!!!
To add up on the story, I nearly lost my Sony Ericsson during our visit to my Narnie's place. The day we suppose to leave for Miri, my uncle Georgie, found my phone, under the tea table. Thank GOD!!! Otherwise, I'll be losing my phone for the second time this year.
So, we're now back in Miri. Mama and Papa and Nadya are in Sibu. Nadya is enjoying her stay there. (Duh!!! its my hometown though!!! hahahahahahaha!!!!) Owh yeah... I finally bought my second motorbike. Not as I thought that I suppose to buy though... but its ok. SInce the fuel price shooting up sky high, I might just possess 125cc motorbike. Buying over 500cc motorbike is just as equivalent as buying a brand new car. Which is useless!!! Hahaha... a brand new white EGO S... Minah motor beb!!! hahahahaha....
My dearest friend, Meldia and Randall of the Nightbyrdz are leaving Marriot by the end of August. New band will be coming in September. I started Salsa class with Gador and Jack. Eventually, Gador is getting better and i'm getting so excited in my dance. Kwok Foo doesn't seem happy with my adrenalin towards my dance. As if i'm so into myself..
So, i better get of now. I's using someone's laptop to write my blog as I'm waiting more database to be keyed in. (Shhhss... i'm working part-timely with Shell recruitment crew for the fresh graduates recruits at Marriot)
Okay then... till my next post!!!!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
It's all about a gir!!!
Hm... where do I start? I went out last nite, as usual. Meeting up with friends at Cherrie Berries and enjoy the band playing. Did I mentioned that the band was that superb good!!! The Pleyades. They played at the Waves in Bintulu 2 months before this. They are Ferddie (drummer), Jayson (bassist), Joseph (keyboardist), Lester(lead guitarist), Mark( lead singer male), Rachious and AJ (lead singer female).
But last nite, they reveal the trueself of the band. They fought and caused a scene, quite a scene actually. Everyone was watching and the thing aren't suppose to happens, happened. Ferd and Mark throw punches on stage after the end of the third set.
I sat with Ferd when everything cool down. Talk to him like an adult.. where everyone else is talking teenagers with the other. Where at the end of the conversation, i realise that this started from a girl.
What a girl can do to a guy and make them do stupid things. but on top of it, everyone must think beyond what they can think off. Be yourself and admit that you're wrong in the first place.
What am I babbling about?? nah... stop with nonsense... sorry for the long silence. Been very busy lately. And i even have to postponed my semester. I dont enough time to study or even have time for myself. Too busy. Nunez emailed me the other day. I felt very happy. But then, i feel guilty for not being discrete. I'll be the next time around, baby.... take care...
But last nite, they reveal the trueself of the band. They fought and caused a scene, quite a scene actually. Everyone was watching and the thing aren't suppose to happens, happened. Ferd and Mark throw punches on stage after the end of the third set.
I sat with Ferd when everything cool down. Talk to him like an adult.. where everyone else is talking teenagers with the other. Where at the end of the conversation, i realise that this started from a girl.
What a girl can do to a guy and make them do stupid things. but on top of it, everyone must think beyond what they can think off. Be yourself and admit that you're wrong in the first place.
What am I babbling about?? nah... stop with nonsense... sorry for the long silence. Been very busy lately. And i even have to postponed my semester. I dont enough time to study or even have time for myself. Too busy. Nunez emailed me the other day. I felt very happy. But then, i feel guilty for not being discrete. I'll be the next time around, baby.... take care...
Sunday, June 1, 2008
An accident, a death and a matrimony
It was Thursday and i received a call from Zura, saying that abang Mail's son involved in an accident. Rumors have it that they fell down to cliff... but the actual fact was the car rammed into a tree... the driver lost control of the car as he was driving on a high speed. There were 4 of them.. including my nephew. It was around 5pm, they just got back from work heading home when the accident happen. 2 of the died on the spot. My nephew and this fellow Sabahan were rushed to the hospital. The doctor said that he's having a serious internal injuries. They just hope that God do His miracle to save my nephew, Mohd Arfan Ismail. The parents were still in Makkah doing their umrah. But they manage to go back in time for the funeral.
On Friday night, I went over to my auntie Soraya's house to help out before Dedek's akad nikah on Saturday. I was a total stranger there. I only knew a few people. Totally left out. I left early and heard that my nephew passed away around 11pm. Al-Fatihah!!!
The next day, I felt very uneasy being at auntie Soraya's place full with the people that I don't recognize. I manage to stay until after the lafaz akad nikah. Rhymie did it in one breath and Mien is officially the wife to Rhymie Rashidi Ibrahim. I tried to get away, from Mien to salam me. But she caught me, and we ended hugging and crying. The tears of joy fell down from my cheek and my only advice that I told her:"Take care of yourself, take care of your marriage. Don't leave mom and dad alone. Promise me that!" She just burst into tears. Stronger than she hugged others. I was seeing myself in her situation. What would happen to my papa, if my time to come, to marry someone. How does he feels, to give me away to my future husband (who ever he is). How would mama react for having her baby girl owned by someone else. Letting go of that responsibilities to that man, that will be my husband. How would Afrie and Nadya feels for having her sister owned by someone else. And i'm not entirely their anymore...
But what is actually marriage??? Its actually getting two families ties together in the name of love and marriage who were never have any blood ties. Its not about separating two families. But its actually putting them together.. and be as one big happy families. I don't want to loose both. Who ever that person would be (my husband) I will surely have both of our family together and surely I try to be fair to both off them.
And to my Nunez, I don't know how much you felt about me. But I know one thing for sure. I love you. I will always love you, cause i'm not finish loving you. I miss you so much. It hurts with the silence and the distance. But i'm facing it strong so that i could live another day, in time to see you come back to me. Til that day fades away, til our love couldn't bear no more, til we couldn't face it anymore... i will always love you. Always...
To abang Mail and family, my deepest condolences of your lost.
To Siti Aminah Salleh and Rhymie Rashidi Ibrahim, congratulation on your wedding and having a new family in your life. Take care of each other, and your marriage. Be very patient in everything that you do. When one of you are on fire, let another be the water. Good luck and selamat menjalani kehidupan berumahtangga.
To my Nunez, u know who you are... if you reading this... I'm saying it out how I felt about you. I love you. You are so true about that look I gave you that night. I broke the rule myself.. and I fell in love. Please let me love you... til I finish loving you....
And to all the reader... i better stop now as my tears are falling down like rain.... i can't help myself... now... i miss my papa!!!
On Friday night, I went over to my auntie Soraya's house to help out before Dedek's akad nikah on Saturday. I was a total stranger there. I only knew a few people. Totally left out. I left early and heard that my nephew passed away around 11pm. Al-Fatihah!!!
The next day, I felt very uneasy being at auntie Soraya's place full with the people that I don't recognize. I manage to stay until after the lafaz akad nikah. Rhymie did it in one breath and Mien is officially the wife to Rhymie Rashidi Ibrahim. I tried to get away, from Mien to salam me. But she caught me, and we ended hugging and crying. The tears of joy fell down from my cheek and my only advice that I told her:"Take care of yourself, take care of your marriage. Don't leave mom and dad alone. Promise me that!" She just burst into tears. Stronger than she hugged others. I was seeing myself in her situation. What would happen to my papa, if my time to come, to marry someone. How does he feels, to give me away to my future husband (who ever he is). How would mama react for having her baby girl owned by someone else. Letting go of that responsibilities to that man, that will be my husband. How would Afrie and Nadya feels for having her sister owned by someone else. And i'm not entirely their anymore...
But what is actually marriage??? Its actually getting two families ties together in the name of love and marriage who were never have any blood ties. Its not about separating two families. But its actually putting them together.. and be as one big happy families. I don't want to loose both. Who ever that person would be (my husband) I will surely have both of our family together and surely I try to be fair to both off them.
And to my Nunez, I don't know how much you felt about me. But I know one thing for sure. I love you. I will always love you, cause i'm not finish loving you. I miss you so much. It hurts with the silence and the distance. But i'm facing it strong so that i could live another day, in time to see you come back to me. Til that day fades away, til our love couldn't bear no more, til we couldn't face it anymore... i will always love you. Always...
To abang Mail and family, my deepest condolences of your lost.
To Siti Aminah Salleh and Rhymie Rashidi Ibrahim, congratulation on your wedding and having a new family in your life. Take care of each other, and your marriage. Be very patient in everything that you do. When one of you are on fire, let another be the water. Good luck and selamat menjalani kehidupan berumahtangga.
To my Nunez, u know who you are... if you reading this... I'm saying it out how I felt about you. I love you. You are so true about that look I gave you that night. I broke the rule myself.. and I fell in love. Please let me love you... til I finish loving you....
And to all the reader... i better stop now as my tears are falling down like rain.... i can't help myself... now... i miss my papa!!!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Groundbreaking Thinker (GT)
I took a personality test after reading my sister's blog. She's is definitely true about it. I mean... the test is so true.... about myself... Go figure... the statement below tells me in words...
(Just visiting? Take the free test and determine your personality type!)
The groundbreaking thinker is a charming, enthusiastic person. He really bubbles over with energy and likes to take centre stage. He loves variety both professionally and privately. The groundbreaking thinker tackles changes consistently with his optimism and firm belief in his own abilities; he is always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. His excellent communication skills are of great advantage to him here. He approaches the world with curiosity and openness and masters new situations with a great deal of talent for improvising and with resourcefulness. His spare time is taken up with a large number of hobbies; most groundbreaking thinkers like to travel in order to gather as many different impressions as possible. This personality type is unbeatable at discovering new possibilities.
In his work, the groundbreaking thinker highly rates challenges and diversified tasks. He cannot stand routine and too detailed work. He loves to astound others with bold ideas for an original, new project and then leave it up to the others to implement them. Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse his opposition and he loves outsmarting the system. It is vital to him that he enjoys his work; if this is the case, he quickly becomes a pure workaholic. His creativity best takes effect when he works independently; but he is very good at motivating others and infecting them with his optimistic nature. Conceptual or advisory activities appeal especially to the groundbreaking thinker. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by his flexible, spontaneous nature.
His sociability and enterprise ensure that the groundbreaking thinker always has a large circle of friends and acquaintances in which activity plays an important role. As he is mostly in a good mood, he is a popular and very welcome guest. Grumbling and peevishness are unknown to him. However, he does tend to be a little erratic and unstable when it comes to obligations and this makes him appear to be unreliable to some. He is very critical and demanding when it comes to picking a partner because he looks for the ideal relationship and has a very concrete picture of the ideal relationship. Mutual aims in life are very important to him. He does not like compromising and would rather remain alone. For the partner, it is often a challenge to have a long-term relationship with an groundbreaking thinker. The groundbreaking thinker needs a lot of space and diversity or otherwise becomes bored and feels cramped. Types who are rather more traditionalistic often have problems with the willingness of the groundbreaking thinker to take risks and his often crazy, spontaneous actions. However, if one can summon up sufficient flexibility and tolerance for him, one will never be bored in his presence and will always have a loyal and faithful partner in him.
(Just visiting? Take the free test and determine your personality type!)
The groundbreaking thinker is a charming, enthusiastic person. He really bubbles over with energy and likes to take centre stage. He loves variety both professionally and privately. The groundbreaking thinker tackles changes consistently with his optimism and firm belief in his own abilities; he is always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. His excellent communication skills are of great advantage to him here. He approaches the world with curiosity and openness and masters new situations with a great deal of talent for improvising and with resourcefulness. His spare time is taken up with a large number of hobbies; most groundbreaking thinkers like to travel in order to gather as many different impressions as possible. This personality type is unbeatable at discovering new possibilities.
In his work, the groundbreaking thinker highly rates challenges and diversified tasks. He cannot stand routine and too detailed work. He loves to astound others with bold ideas for an original, new project and then leave it up to the others to implement them. Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse his opposition and he loves outsmarting the system. It is vital to him that he enjoys his work; if this is the case, he quickly becomes a pure workaholic. His creativity best takes effect when he works independently; but he is very good at motivating others and infecting them with his optimistic nature. Conceptual or advisory activities appeal especially to the groundbreaking thinker. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by his flexible, spontaneous nature.
His sociability and enterprise ensure that the groundbreaking thinker always has a large circle of friends and acquaintances in which activity plays an important role. As he is mostly in a good mood, he is a popular and very welcome guest. Grumbling and peevishness are unknown to him. However, he does tend to be a little erratic and unstable when it comes to obligations and this makes him appear to be unreliable to some. He is very critical and demanding when it comes to picking a partner because he looks for the ideal relationship and has a very concrete picture of the ideal relationship. Mutual aims in life are very important to him. He does not like compromising and would rather remain alone. For the partner, it is often a challenge to have a long-term relationship with an groundbreaking thinker. The groundbreaking thinker needs a lot of space and diversity or otherwise becomes bored and feels cramped. Types who are rather more traditionalistic often have problems with the willingness of the groundbreaking thinker to take risks and his often crazy, spontaneous actions. However, if one can summon up sufficient flexibility and tolerance for him, one will never be bored in his presence and will always have a loyal and faithful partner in him.
Adjectives which describe your type
extroverted, theoretical, logical, spontaneous, rational, innovative, intellectual, open, independent, curious, enterprising, analytical, clever, enthusiastic, venturesome, inventive, energetic, sociable, optimistic, non-conformist, creative, freedom-loving, charming, able to get enthusiastic, self-confident, communicative, capricious, inconsistent, outgoingFriday, May 23, 2008
AND THE COOK DID IT!
DAVID COOK took the crown of American Idol. Its the thing that people sees in a talent. Where the different that makes a better well to listen to new kind of music, that David Cook have shown to us. (I'm being unrealistic.... i'm actually The Cook Fan... because of MRManager says on David Archuleta, i feel that Archuleta will win) But was hoping that America will vote for Cook instead... hahahahahaha.....
I'm on a break at the moment. Had a rough class. I was mad at one of my students for screwing up my portfolio and doesn't follow exactly my instruction that i gave to her. I was so pissed off and spent the whole 5 hours to tidy up the mess that she made. And she ends up crying in my class. And I don't know what to do. I hate doing this but they have to learn something. I can't come to the rescue every time she's in trouble. I have to let her go slowly.
Hm... congratulation Nadya.... as for your Cook is the American Idol.... He's indeed a good singer, performer and artist.
Well, back to teaching I guess. Write back again later.( When I have the time....)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Back From The Holidays....
I went back to Sibu this weekend with my favorite niece, Nurul. They say that kids are like curious cats. They ask questions that sometimes you can't even answer. All the way in the bus, she keep on asking me questions that I can't even answer. Even about how long would it take from Miri to Sibu. To explain the "how long" feels, i just can't describe it to her. It makes me wonder, its good to be kids. We don't know things and we are given the opportunity to ask questions. I think maybe the world genius can't never answer those tricky yet challenging questions.
Sibu was nice. I miss my parents, i miss my room and best of all, i miss my quiet and peace holidays... Well, its worth it for me to be back in my hometown with my favorite niece. She's adorable. And best yet to come, Fyda is expecting. We're hoping (fingers cross) for her to have a baby boy this time.
I'm still shop hunting for superbike or maybe streetbike. Found a few, but still in the decision mode. (hahahahahahaha)
Its my sister's examination day today. I wish her all the best and all the luck in the world for her. Can't wait to have her back soon, though!
What else?? Hm... let see... owh yeah.... American Idol, its the David vs David... who's gonna be Americal Next Idol??? tough decision, but my bet will be on the Diva, as the MrManager calls it!! hahahaha.... so, this is my blog, me without my camera. Hoping for one soon.... keeping my fingers cross....
Sibu was nice. I miss my parents, i miss my room and best of all, i miss my quiet and peace holidays... Well, its worth it for me to be back in my hometown with my favorite niece. She's adorable. And best yet to come, Fyda is expecting. We're hoping (fingers cross) for her to have a baby boy this time.
I'm still shop hunting for superbike or maybe streetbike. Found a few, but still in the decision mode. (hahahahahahaha)
Its my sister's examination day today. I wish her all the best and all the luck in the world for her. Can't wait to have her back soon, though!
What else?? Hm... let see... owh yeah.... American Idol, its the David vs David... who's gonna be Americal Next Idol??? tough decision, but my bet will be on the Diva, as the MrManager calls it!! hahahaha.... so, this is my blog, me without my camera. Hoping for one soon.... keeping my fingers cross....
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A dozens of flowers
Roses are red, violet a are blue... Tina, I love you!!!I haven't received any roses from anyone since I broke up few years back. And today, my sister and soulmate; Kartina Abdul Kadir sent me a dozen of roses. It made me cry. I eventually having a hard day and trying somehow to get thru with it... But alhamdulillah... everything went well.
You make my day, Tina... i love you so much.. and miss you tonnes..My Nunez replied my emails, I get to go back to my hometown this weekend and the best thing, I got roses from my beloved sister soulmate... Kartina... i love you so much, sis!
Last night, there was a strong wind (baby hurricane) along with heavy rain... scary as I am alone at home.. and I'm having this stupid thought in my head of us having twister in our area.. and where the hell i should cover for safety??? I stand at my car porch, watching horrificly the wind blows hard and the rains slapping my face and hair. I can even feel the wind is pushing me away. Its cold and freezing. I was soaking wet eventhough I wore my windbreaker to protect me from the rain. (Like its gonna keep me dry... hahahaha...) With the wooing sound that the wind makes, I feel scared a bit before I overcome my fear.
But gladly... its over by 10pm last nite... so I eventually sleep tight... My sister (Nadya) is asking about my favourite blogger (MrManager). Yes Nadya, he's Sarawakian and he's the Ning's manager now. You can read his blog at MRMANAGER. You'll get new updates on anything by him.... trust me...!!!!
Last week, I missed the International Jazz Festival held in Miri. During the preview at the Al-Fresco compound, the band sounds good. Especially that hot hunk from the Habana Sax... He does turns me on!! (ahaks... sorry... no picture of him... sad isn't it... I lost my N70 and I'm completely cameraless....) But, I have this really hot shot!!
My collegue and I attend for this Celcom Blackberry Hi Tea in Lush Bar, Miri Marriot. I was wondering around when I saw this familiar face. Who doesn't recognise him? He's the most handsome minister (from Sarawak) that I ever laid my eyes on.
Yup, its our Deputy Minister of Tourism, Malaysia: Datuk Seri Sulaiman Abdul Rahman Taib. He's gorgeous and very friendly. He never stop smiling and have a very good sense of humor. I like his character in a minister. Makes a minister more approachable rather than we scared to come up to him and say "Hi! I'm a big fan of yours!"
Me & YB Datuk Seri Sulaiman Abdul-Rahman Taib himselfSeriously, he's very lah friendly one... I've met a few of VVIPs ( a few la...) seldom and rarely I met VVIP like YB Datuk Seri Sulaiman. He's like very down to earth and people's person. He'll make a good minister. InsyaAllah.. who knows.. maybe Sarawak next CM??? hehehehe
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
A day to remember...
I finally started my writings. I've finished up to the third chapter as i'm writing this blog. But still i have conflict with the storyline. My collegue, Syuhaira helped me throughout the process. She's the person who listened to my ideas and read my first 3 chapter. She just can't keep her excitement to herself. She started to hate few of character i created in the story.
Zura called this morning, saying that her ex-father-in-law pass away this morning. She's sad because for her, her ex-father-in-law treated her like his own daughter. AL-FATIHAH!
Then later in the evening, while i was watching American IDOL (which i think either Jason Castro or Syesha will be eliminated) i received SMS from my friend, Michele who's currently in Sabah. Her father pass away yesterday morning due to the sickness that he suffers all these years. Luckily for her, she was in time to go back and be with her father before he go and meet the Creator. My deepest condolences to Badrul Hisham's family and Michele's family for the demise of they beloved father. May his soul rest in peace.....
So, I'm keeping my fingers cross to finished this novel of mine. This would be the first one, if i manage to complete it. "Ira, u better force me to finish the novel...." hehehehehe
Zura called this morning, saying that her ex-father-in-law pass away this morning. She's sad because for her, her ex-father-in-law treated her like his own daughter. AL-FATIHAH!
Then later in the evening, while i was watching American IDOL (which i think either Jason Castro or Syesha will be eliminated) i received SMS from my friend, Michele who's currently in Sabah. Her father pass away yesterday morning due to the sickness that he suffers all these years. Luckily for her, she was in time to go back and be with her father before he go and meet the Creator. My deepest condolences to Badrul Hisham's family and Michele's family for the demise of they beloved father. May his soul rest in peace.....
So, I'm keeping my fingers cross to finished this novel of mine. This would be the first one, if i manage to complete it. "Ira, u better force me to finish the novel...." hehehehehe
Sunday, May 4, 2008
How Quickly People Notice You?
Its 450pm here in Miri. I just finished watching "The Last Holiday" staring Queen Latifah. Its about this lady misdiagnose with Lampington disease and have like only 3 weeks to live. So, she spent everything that she have on a luxurious holiday in Karlovy Vary. Its a cute and nice storyline.
But what more important is, how exactly people notice you, when u are in a crowd? For you are the way you are, may be u are a stand out or blend in or hide away? Stand out is when the people notice u immediately even though u are in a huge crown. Blend in is when it takes a few minutes or hours to notice you are in the crown. Or hide away, is when u try to hide out from everyone in the crowd. Hiding behind everyone's shadow.
I use to be the hide away and now i'm in the blend in. I don't like to be stand out. Even so, sometimes i'm craving for one. Of all my cousin, the only cousin that realise my status has changed is Rashid Salleh. He's not even geographically close to me.. but we're close cousins... yet, he notice the status has change. Yes cuzzy... recently change. trying to adjust myself with the change though. He's not local, and its a long distance relationship. Its gonna be hard for both of us, but we both a fighter... he's absolutely a fighter. No intention of changing the status again in the nearest future... but maybe back to being single... hahahaha... life as a single is so much fun....
I still have lots of hopes to chase. Still lots of things to do, before i really settle down with someone. I dont really want to hurt anyone in the process of marriage, don't you. So, be it this way or single all the way.... and stop refering me to Ngah... im not her... we're totally different in point of view. I have my own view... she had hers.
Yup, Rashid Salleh... the ESPN SportCenter news presenter is my cousin. He's doing well in his job now... I'm proud of him. We all are. He did it with his own effort. He's my mentor, my idol. One day, InsyaAllah.. I will be successful as he is. InsyaAllah. All the best for you cousin. (Buy me something from Jakarta... books maybe... heheheheh ngeh ngeh ngeh....)
Before I pen down, I would like to put my hands together for Chief Minister of Penang, YAB Lim Guan Eng, who put the words into practice. He indeed fly in the economy class just to proof that he really cutting the cost. Check this site out... MR.MANAGER
If all of the rich, rich people think like he thinks, I think the world could be a better and fair place for everyone. I mean, everyone.... DON'T YOU THINK??!!
But what more important is, how exactly people notice you, when u are in a crowd? For you are the way you are, may be u are a stand out or blend in or hide away? Stand out is when the people notice u immediately even though u are in a huge crown. Blend in is when it takes a few minutes or hours to notice you are in the crown. Or hide away, is when u try to hide out from everyone in the crowd. Hiding behind everyone's shadow.
I use to be the hide away and now i'm in the blend in. I don't like to be stand out. Even so, sometimes i'm craving for one. Of all my cousin, the only cousin that realise my status has changed is Rashid Salleh. He's not even geographically close to me.. but we're close cousins... yet, he notice the status has change. Yes cuzzy... recently change. trying to adjust myself with the change though. He's not local, and its a long distance relationship. Its gonna be hard for both of us, but we both a fighter... he's absolutely a fighter. No intention of changing the status again in the nearest future... but maybe back to being single... hahahaha... life as a single is so much fun....
I still have lots of hopes to chase. Still lots of things to do, before i really settle down with someone. I dont really want to hurt anyone in the process of marriage, don't you. So, be it this way or single all the way.... and stop refering me to Ngah... im not her... we're totally different in point of view. I have my own view... she had hers.
Yup, Rashid Salleh... the ESPN SportCenter news presenter is my cousin. He's doing well in his job now... I'm proud of him. We all are. He did it with his own effort. He's my mentor, my idol. One day, InsyaAllah.. I will be successful as he is. InsyaAllah. All the best for you cousin. (Buy me something from Jakarta... books maybe... heheheheh ngeh ngeh ngeh....)
Before I pen down, I would like to put my hands together for Chief Minister of Penang, YAB Lim Guan Eng, who put the words into practice. He indeed fly in the economy class just to proof that he really cutting the cost. Check this site out... MR.MANAGER
If all of the rich, rich people think like he thinks, I think the world could be a better and fair place for everyone. I mean, everyone.... DON'T YOU THINK??!!
Friday, May 2, 2008
And he finally called!!!
Such a relieve feeling rush to my heart when I first hear his voice on the phone, at 1030am this morning and 3.30am in UK. I usually leave my phone unattended in the class or in the office. Out of the sudden, I brought the phone with me today. As I walk the hallway with my collegue, arguing of the Hi-Tea Blackberry Launching for Celcom, my phone vibrates and appears the Private Number. I thought it was my cousin. But really, out of the blue.. its him. I've been waiting for ages for him to call and yes... he called. I was like jumping up and down happy....Relieved that he called and finally everything is sorted out. Like I said in my previous post, that's what we're having now. A relationship. I don't want to hurt myself and definitely not him.
Then, there was I, struggling to get better from the fever, flu and cough that I'm having. I should feel happy... But my body just aching in pain. Hm... what should I do? (ape yang aku merepek ni....)
It was a surprise to hear from my Nunez... A surprise indeed. Its our first month anniversary(the first time I saw him, knew him and like him...) Coincidence indeed....
Aku tak tahu apa yang aku mengarut ni... tapi aku rasa, aku perlu berhenti.. sebelum benda-benda lain yang terkeluar... Kalau sempat, aku blog lagi malam sikit or subuh nanti... if I'm awake... owh yeah... i've completed my Grey's Anatomy season 4 up till episode 11. Cant wait for the next episode to be on air... so... catch you guys later.
Then, there was I, struggling to get better from the fever, flu and cough that I'm having. I should feel happy... But my body just aching in pain. Hm... what should I do? (ape yang aku merepek ni....)
It was a surprise to hear from my Nunez... A surprise indeed. Its our first month anniversary(the first time I saw him, knew him and like him...) Coincidence indeed....
Aku tak tahu apa yang aku mengarut ni... tapi aku rasa, aku perlu berhenti.. sebelum benda-benda lain yang terkeluar... Kalau sempat, aku blog lagi malam sikit or subuh nanti... if I'm awake... owh yeah... i've completed my Grey's Anatomy season 4 up till episode 11. Cant wait for the next episode to be on air... so... catch you guys later.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Relationship or Commitment!
Few days ago, I read an article. Saying that what makes the difference between dating a recently single guy.. who just broke up with his girlfriend that he live with for the past 7 years and a guy who just got a divorce or separated? It's the same situation, but the status set it to a higher pace for a divorce person. Who set the status? We set the status... our community set the status. And who argue about the status? We argue about the status.. and sick and tired of this status. Who to blame?
Im having a serious problem with relationship. It seems that i believe in relationship but not in commitment. Blame it to all the men i used to love. I'm into a relationship.. but not into a commitment. I just can't. I just finished watching Grey's Anatomy season 3. The relationship between Meredith Grey and Derek Sheppard and Christina Yang and Dr. Burke proves to me that sometimes, we just relieve with the relationship that we have. When we're ready for a commitment.. that's when the guys freaked out and step away from our life. And we're not ready for a commitment, they are there... begging and asking for love. Yes, people say we should sacrifice something for others. But what if I've been sacrificing the whole time.. and I never get anything good out of it???
I would like to believe that there is someone out there for me. But, I don't! I would like to believe that there is someone for me to put this blame on. But i couldn't do that! For example, George O'Maley married to Calligh Torres after George's father died of cancer. But eventually, Izzie Stevens is in love with O'Maley. So, what does that shows you? Its happening around the world. Its happening everywhere. How could you say that this thing call love, soulmates and the love vows exists?
The passion for living is the reason for all human being alive and moving around. Love comes later. Everything nowadays is all about taking care of yourself and live life the fullest. But of course I don't want to end up like Dr. Addison Montgomery. Wasted so much on life... and when she realise what she missed, its too late to turn back. In life, having to love and be loved is the most beautiful thing that ever can happen to someone. But to commit your life time to it, it takes a lot of guts and sacrifices to go through that.
Nadya, you did once asked me. When will i get married to someone? This is my answer. I won't get married to anyone, until I believe in marriage. With divorce cases hovering our family, I don't think so that i would put myself in that situation. You know my passion for uniformed and armed men... That would take a lot of sacrifices if i would to put my marriage into the picture. With their worked and their life is on the line, I don't think so that i would believe marriage is the thing that bond me and him together. I almost have a perfect man in my life. You knew that, don't you?! What happened? Things just don't comes my way. I'm not taking revenge. But this is what I've become for all the sacrifices I've done few years back. I'm not asking you to be like me. But be stronger than me. Fight for your life. For your future. I know, that you're stronger and more stubborn than I do. We all are...u, abang and I.... Be strong for yourself.
So, stop asking questions, cause it won't help either way! When the time comes, the time comes. Don't hesitate to get married before I do. Coz there is no such thing as langkah bendul... hehehehehe.... I know its tradition... but if it is your turn to marry first.. then go ahead. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.
So, to choose between relationship and commitment.... i choose relationship. Cause it makes my heart healthy.... and I love it. I just love it the way it is....
Im having a serious problem with relationship. It seems that i believe in relationship but not in commitment. Blame it to all the men i used to love. I'm into a relationship.. but not into a commitment. I just can't. I just finished watching Grey's Anatomy season 3. The relationship between Meredith Grey and Derek Sheppard and Christina Yang and Dr. Burke proves to me that sometimes, we just relieve with the relationship that we have. When we're ready for a commitment.. that's when the guys freaked out and step away from our life. And we're not ready for a commitment, they are there... begging and asking for love. Yes, people say we should sacrifice something for others. But what if I've been sacrificing the whole time.. and I never get anything good out of it???
I would like to believe that there is someone out there for me. But, I don't! I would like to believe that there is someone for me to put this blame on. But i couldn't do that! For example, George O'Maley married to Calligh Torres after George's father died of cancer. But eventually, Izzie Stevens is in love with O'Maley. So, what does that shows you? Its happening around the world. Its happening everywhere. How could you say that this thing call love, soulmates and the love vows exists?
The passion for living is the reason for all human being alive and moving around. Love comes later. Everything nowadays is all about taking care of yourself and live life the fullest. But of course I don't want to end up like Dr. Addison Montgomery. Wasted so much on life... and when she realise what she missed, its too late to turn back. In life, having to love and be loved is the most beautiful thing that ever can happen to someone. But to commit your life time to it, it takes a lot of guts and sacrifices to go through that.
Nadya, you did once asked me. When will i get married to someone? This is my answer. I won't get married to anyone, until I believe in marriage. With divorce cases hovering our family, I don't think so that i would put myself in that situation. You know my passion for uniformed and armed men... That would take a lot of sacrifices if i would to put my marriage into the picture. With their worked and their life is on the line, I don't think so that i would believe marriage is the thing that bond me and him together. I almost have a perfect man in my life. You knew that, don't you?! What happened? Things just don't comes my way. I'm not taking revenge. But this is what I've become for all the sacrifices I've done few years back. I'm not asking you to be like me. But be stronger than me. Fight for your life. For your future. I know, that you're stronger and more stubborn than I do. We all are...u, abang and I.... Be strong for yourself.
So, stop asking questions, cause it won't help either way! When the time comes, the time comes. Don't hesitate to get married before I do. Coz there is no such thing as langkah bendul... hehehehehe.... I know its tradition... but if it is your turn to marry first.. then go ahead. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.
So, to choose between relationship and commitment.... i choose relationship. Cause it makes my heart healthy.... and I love it. I just love it the way it is....
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Time
I was jogging with me fellow friends when i bump into a dead body by the beach. A dead body of a male that is half naked and half buried in the sands. I was told that the John Doe was drown and swept away by the current. Up to this post, his identity is yet to be known. People keep on asking me, how am I doing and how am I coping with this situation. I think, I'm ok... so far...
I was watching Grey's Anatomy Season 3, when some of the scene makes me feels guilty and feels sad. I miss my Nunez so much. I don't know why i felt this way.. but it just does. Everyone, everybody always say that, when u love someone.. u say it straight to them before its too late. It is too late? For me, its always too late. Too late to say I love you... too late to say i miss you... too late to show how i felt and always too late to be in a relationship. The fact that, i want to be in a relationship.. but i don't want to be in a commitment. Time have played a fair game for me all these years. Yes, i'm craving for a relationship... but i will never manage to commit. Coz i'll never will. I always hoping that one day, that right guy will come up to my door and just turn my life upside down.. and says that my opinion about commitment is wrong.
Time played well upon my life... make it good or bad... make it happy or sad... but i still go on... Still living life the fullest. Cause i know one thing that, i don't wanna miss a thing that i wanna do in this world. Nunez was the guy that opens my heart... and make me the way i am years ago...
When i saw the dead guy, i said to myself... God takes away life with a single snap... and everything in this his life would change drastically. I wont never lose the chances anymore... I'll never will.....
I was watching Grey's Anatomy Season 3, when some of the scene makes me feels guilty and feels sad. I miss my Nunez so much. I don't know why i felt this way.. but it just does. Everyone, everybody always say that, when u love someone.. u say it straight to them before its too late. It is too late? For me, its always too late. Too late to say I love you... too late to say i miss you... too late to show how i felt and always too late to be in a relationship. The fact that, i want to be in a relationship.. but i don't want to be in a commitment. Time have played a fair game for me all these years. Yes, i'm craving for a relationship... but i will never manage to commit. Coz i'll never will. I always hoping that one day, that right guy will come up to my door and just turn my life upside down.. and says that my opinion about commitment is wrong.
Time played well upon my life... make it good or bad... make it happy or sad... but i still go on... Still living life the fullest. Cause i know one thing that, i don't wanna miss a thing that i wanna do in this world. Nunez was the guy that opens my heart... and make me the way i am years ago...
When i saw the dead guy, i said to myself... God takes away life with a single snap... and everything in this his life would change drastically. I wont never lose the chances anymore... I'll never will.....
Monday, April 21, 2008
Monday Blues
It’s the beginning of the week. Monday is the first day of the week. Some say it would be Sunday. But eventually, whatever day it supposes to be, Monday is the logic day to be the first. Some Monday, we start it joy and happiness. Some started it with a moody basis feelings, anger and just not being yourself. It will affect your entire mood for the whole week. Work become sucks and everyone around you seems to annoying you to much. You just can’t handle it.
Human eventually, have different type of view on themselves. Some are strong, some are determine of what they are doing and some are just too weak to face the truth. These people know what they want out of life and know what they don’t. Life pressure is human worst enemy. It’s human demon within them. Not entirely everyone can handle their own demons. Mostly failed and seek vengeance upon their failure.
This is what happened to me today. My colleague’s class is having a design and layout presentation. He insisted to have the presentation exactly what will they face in their career soon. It went well for few of the students. But I was at the end of the edge when one of his students starts to questions my position as one of the critic’s panel and the customer and also her supervisor. I nearly throw it all on her when I realize this was only a normal presentation that they have to make it look professional, as a preparation for them before they proceed to the real world. She’s the example of the student nowadays. They know how to complaint but never really realize what they’ve done wrong.
This similar situation happens during the summer camp. I was the collaborator for the camp and the ideas came from the students. They created the idea of doing harsh activities to other students but to them was an exception. Yet, when they get a direct command from me, they neglect that I have the full authority to say yes or no. And they are against what I’m trying to do. As a result, neither one of them are speaking to me as I’m writing this.
I was wondering that people create rules for us to obey and follow. But they tend to bend the rules sometimes. Even to those who actually create the rules. They actually bend the rules that they set is as benchmark for everyone to follow. And who actually will obey the rules?
No.2
Last week, a housewife hangs herself to death. She’s the housewife of a policeman. According to sources, she hangs herself because she couldn’t handle the stress taking care of the children. But I think, she’s just can’t handle her own demon. She fails and found an easy way out of it. It’s a stupid thing to do. But who are we to say that? We’re not even by her side to help her through. I bet that the neither husband nor do the children help her on her feelings.
What I’m trying to say here is that, by listening, you are eventually helping other people to face their demons. You just need to trust them. You can be that stubborn not to listen to what they advice to you, but by telling and letting go a part of your demons will actually help you to overcome your fear.
(apa yang aku mengarut ni)
No matter what you do in your life, how bad you’ve screwed up, you have to remember one thing. There will always be another person, at another place and different time, face thing worst than you do. You’d be lucky enough to have life that you’re living at the moment. By believing in yourself, you believe people around you. And that trust will become your friends. The most treasured possession you will ever have in the whole wide world. Having faith in what you have and what you do, will eventually lead to you success. (I’m keeping my fingers cross!) God give me faith for me to go on! There can be miracle, when you believe… though heart is frail, its hard kill…
Human eventually, have different type of view on themselves. Some are strong, some are determine of what they are doing and some are just too weak to face the truth. These people know what they want out of life and know what they don’t. Life pressure is human worst enemy. It’s human demon within them. Not entirely everyone can handle their own demons. Mostly failed and seek vengeance upon their failure.
This is what happened to me today. My colleague’s class is having a design and layout presentation. He insisted to have the presentation exactly what will they face in their career soon. It went well for few of the students. But I was at the end of the edge when one of his students starts to questions my position as one of the critic’s panel and the customer and also her supervisor. I nearly throw it all on her when I realize this was only a normal presentation that they have to make it look professional, as a preparation for them before they proceed to the real world. She’s the example of the student nowadays. They know how to complaint but never really realize what they’ve done wrong.
This similar situation happens during the summer camp. I was the collaborator for the camp and the ideas came from the students. They created the idea of doing harsh activities to other students but to them was an exception. Yet, when they get a direct command from me, they neglect that I have the full authority to say yes or no. And they are against what I’m trying to do. As a result, neither one of them are speaking to me as I’m writing this.
I was wondering that people create rules for us to obey and follow. But they tend to bend the rules sometimes. Even to those who actually create the rules. They actually bend the rules that they set is as benchmark for everyone to follow. And who actually will obey the rules?
No.2
Last week, a housewife hangs herself to death. She’s the housewife of a policeman. According to sources, she hangs herself because she couldn’t handle the stress taking care of the children. But I think, she’s just can’t handle her own demon. She fails and found an easy way out of it. It’s a stupid thing to do. But who are we to say that? We’re not even by her side to help her through. I bet that the neither husband nor do the children help her on her feelings.
What I’m trying to say here is that, by listening, you are eventually helping other people to face their demons. You just need to trust them. You can be that stubborn not to listen to what they advice to you, but by telling and letting go a part of your demons will actually help you to overcome your fear.
(apa yang aku mengarut ni)
No matter what you do in your life, how bad you’ve screwed up, you have to remember one thing. There will always be another person, at another place and different time, face thing worst than you do. You’d be lucky enough to have life that you’re living at the moment. By believing in yourself, you believe people around you. And that trust will become your friends. The most treasured possession you will ever have in the whole wide world. Having faith in what you have and what you do, will eventually lead to you success. (I’m keeping my fingers cross!) God give me faith for me to go on! There can be miracle, when you believe… though heart is frail, its hard kill…
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Always be my baby....
You'll always part of me,
I'm a part of you indefinitely,
Boy don't you know you can't escape me,
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby..
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong,
No way you're never gonna shake me,
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby...
You'll always be my baby......i have few close friend in life....they will always be my babies...my soulmate, my partner in crime... my shoulder to cry on, my cracking time of laughters, my idea of getting silly and stupid. Those friends i have, i don't have them close, physically... but close to my heart. We craving for each other, as distance does matter in this situations.
This song is the best new version of Always be my baby... and this song does reflect the way i'm feeling at the moment. David Cook will make a good recording artiste.. and i'm one of the first millions fan of his... Good luck David.... all the best..
And as for Tina, Layla, Noura and Nora.... where ever you are... you'll always be my baby.....
Thursday, April 17, 2008
The Record of April
As i promised to Ajey... i took her to Lush Bar, Marriot and CB with Zaf... it was entirely ladies nite... not men in the crowd... it was Ajey's luck to see me sing in both place... few times in Marriot.. and first time in CB... that was the first... and i'm honored... she was so very lucky tonite...
I just finished my exam earlier today... and im back to my normal life now... still missing him though.. but... life goes on... and hoping that i will be hearing from him soon enuf... well... what else i can say today????
17th April... 2008.... my first time singing in Cheries Berries... love it.. living it... the fullest...
good nite...
I just finished my exam earlier today... and im back to my normal life now... still missing him though.. but... life goes on... and hoping that i will be hearing from him soon enuf... well... what else i can say today????
17th April... 2008.... my first time singing in Cheries Berries... love it.. living it... the fullest...
good nite...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Its been a while....
Its been a while i havent wrote anything in my blog... lots of things to write... but dont know where to start...hehehehehe....
Its AF and American Idol season now.. so, everyone is glued to ASTRO to watch the programme. As for me, i'm now officially addicted to Grey's Anatomy... and just realize that its already in season 4 showing on tv... my God... where the hell i've been too???
Im busy with the PPK meeting next week on the 27 and 28th.. and then will be the Luncheon Talk by Datu Abdul Ghaffur.. its a tight week and month for me. Nadya is touring Europe again.. for the Easter Holiday. She just finished with the Malaysian Nite Show in Newcastle University as the leading actress in The Departures. According to her.. its more like Sepet movie.. i wish i could go and see the theater...Hoping that they will do the show in Malaysia. Congratulation to DS Rahman Taib for his new post as Deputy Minister of Tourism... all the best yar!!
As for me, i'm polishing myself for the singing career. Im taking this seriously... check this out....
Its AF and American Idol season now.. so, everyone is glued to ASTRO to watch the programme. As for me, i'm now officially addicted to Grey's Anatomy... and just realize that its already in season 4 showing on tv... my God... where the hell i've been too???
Im busy with the PPK meeting next week on the 27 and 28th.. and then will be the Luncheon Talk by Datu Abdul Ghaffur.. its a tight week and month for me. Nadya is touring Europe again.. for the Easter Holiday. She just finished with the Malaysian Nite Show in Newcastle University as the leading actress in The Departures. According to her.. its more like Sepet movie.. i wish i could go and see the theater...Hoping that they will do the show in Malaysia. Congratulation to DS Rahman Taib for his new post as Deputy Minister of Tourism... all the best yar!!
As for me, i'm polishing myself for the singing career. Im taking this seriously... check this out....
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