WHEN THE BITCH BITCHES AROUND, WHO'S GONNA BITCH THEM?

As harsh as the post title, I'm feeling a little bit piss with these bitches. No wonder people wouldn't get where to they are now? And they don't get what they want, or if they do get it, it won't last.

Its so hard to have a new life, its so hard to have a quiet and nice life. Sometimes I ignore what people say about myself out there. I don't even care what will people says about me. I know one thing, I'm responsible for what I do, and I don't involve others in my own matters.

This is what we call a harmony life. People bitching around you and sometimes it will makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable. It sometimes could hurt our love ones feelings. We could end up in a fight if we don't know how to tackle the situation.

Don't the bitches see, that what they bitch will come right back to them. Not entirely immediately, but they soon will have a life, and maybe kids... don't they are afraid that the bitches that they bitch around would take affect to their life or maybe their kids life?

Why can't the bitch just hold their peace and let others continue life in happy and harmony surrounding?

To all the bitch out there... stop bitching, coz it will hurt you too someday!~!!!

My First Day in the 30s

Wow.... I'm for real.... I am in my 30s now... I left my 20s yesterday, and now I'm in my 30s. My 1st day as a 30 year old woman... I'm old.

But the best thing about it now is that, I'm 30 and I have my hun hun to celebrate it with. Well not at the moment, as he's working. He'll be taking me out for a dinner later tonite after breaking fast and after he finished working around 7pm, I think.

I think, I'm having the best birthday celebration this year ever... He's with me and im celebrating it with him. Not that I don't want to celebrate it with my family, but I guess, things different for me this year.

And my birthday is the same birthday with he's youngest son, Zikry. We went shopping for Zikry's birthday present last nite.. I'll be Zikry gonna love it..

I hope this is a new begining for me, and for him. I'm hoping for so much more from him one day. I do hope, but I don't dare to ask. It is still a big step for him to decide. Let the time do its charm, shall we... :D

Anyway, happy birthday Nomie...

What's the meaning of marriage???

What the meaning of marriage? It would be a meaningful definition for those who really really ready for marriage, and appreciate marriage life. But what about those who were force into marriage, accidents, get married and then realize that they made a big mistake by getting married.. What would it make a marriage definition from these kind of people???

For instance, this couple XY, were in love for many many years. Everyone sees them as a perfect couple. Both are handsome and beautiful and both also very very rich!! They got married and a very grand and expensive ceremony.. but the marriage last only for 6 month...

Then this other couple, couple ZA. They broke up after 3 years of relationship. But the got back together and get married. They have 1 kid. The baby is only 6 month old when they got divorced and now regret of being divorce.

Then there is this another couple. Married for nearly 14 years with 3 kids aged 14, 8 and 5. They got divorce because the wife keep on accusing the husband having an affair with another woman, which is not! And when in the first place, the 'wife' is actually who force both of them into marriage when the husband is not ready. Why people do this? Why want to commit when you know that you're not ready? Why want to jeopardize the sacred of marriage by getting a divorce. In Islam, divorce is an act that is 'halal' but Allah really hates. Even as ancient Catholic, when you divorce, you eventually cannot be married to another person because of the vow that they made, 'Till death do us part!" Why be married to other when the other person is still up and alive. I don't understand.

And when you parents says this and that about your partner, saying that he's not good enough for you. When is it that that person would be good enough for them? No body perfect in this world. When you found your soulmate and you are truly in a way that never be apart from him, definitely you determine to be with him. Its just that it would take some times for both of you to understand each other well. When the right time comes, everything would go as in everyone wants it to be.

Sometimes, I'm sick being someelse that I'm not. Sick of pretending and hurting myself. Now that I'm happy with what I have, i want to enjoy every single little bits I have. Coz we don't know, when our time will come.

And I'm babbling again on 1st Ramadhan... whats with me... ish...

Anyway, SELAMAT BERPUASA AND SELAMA MENUNAIKAN SOLAT TARAWIKH!!!

1st Ramadhan together

Time flies so fast. And its Ramadhan now.. coming up tomorrow. This year, I'm celebrating my 1st Ramadhan with my Hun Hun. The 1st for me and for him. I can't recall when was the last time I had my Ramadhan with one of my ex-es.

Nadya arrived safely in Sibu yesterday. It was a good surprise to mama, papa, Afrie and Turi. Hahaha... here comes my small family. We will be celebrating Raya in a very good mood this year. As far as I'm concern, my brother is getting engage and Nadya is around too. Plus, Hun Hun is coming over to Sibu to fetch me home to Miri. Yes, Miri is my home now. Sibu is my hometown. What am I babbling about?? I have no idea.

As for now, I'm so excited for 'sahur' tomorrow morning. Seriously I am. Apart from my Astro has been disconnected (ouch!!!) hehehehe... I'll be watching Grey's Anatomy back to back tomorrow... Yiihaa....

I'm outta here...

First cut is the deepest....

The honeymoon is over. I have a theory that I would like this honeymoon to last forever, so that we could have a good relationship going on between the two of us. But yesterday shows that I was wrong. I want to prove them wrong, by saying that in a relationship, there is no such thing as forever honeymoon. I want to make it last, but it takes two to tango. I can't do this alone. I need help from him too.

He gave me silent treatment last nite, and its painful. Painful nite... We talked, but not as talkative as before. I don't even dare to bring up the issue. I don't even feel that I'm mocking him by saying that he's English is not that good. Seriously, it was suppose to be a joke. But i guess he took it seriously.

When he came back from work, as usual, I treat him the way I do every time he comes home. The only problem is that, we don't talk. I don't dare to talk because I'm scared that I'll hate myself with what I have to say. So I bite my tongue and hold my peace. And he did the same. We only talked for necessary things. I keep on saying "I'm sorry"... and he keep on answering, "forget about it. I admit I'm not that good!" which makes me feels more guilty. Have I hurt him again this time??? What should I do?

At this point, last nite, I cried. I'm tired. I'm tired of living in this body of mine. Tired of trying so hard just to impress other people. Trying so hard to be other people, instead of myself. I'm tired. I do have a thought that I don't wanna live anymore. I wanna stop breathing and just die. I hate to feel this way... This is one of the reason why I'm like this... gosh, being in love is so painful...

Praise to Allah

It was a week ago, Hun Hun and I decided to escort convoy for Maktab Perguruan to Bintulu. It was a tiring escort, as they are using motorcycle below 150cc, as we are riding 250cc and over. But riding back home to Miri was the best…We definitely trust each other. His handling was superb. Doing corners at 140kmph, top speed at 240kmph and running through the cars in town like two crazy couple. (We are insanely in love and crazy for adrenalin).

This week, 7 August – 9 August, suppose to be Crocker Ride, join by Mirisportbikers, Brunei bikers, Labuan Bikers and KK Bikers. Hun Hun did suggest that we should join them. But we canceled it last minute as he’s working and for me, its rushing, and I don’t like to rush things.

About an hour ago, I receive a news from Hun Hun saying that, 5 bikers down in Temburong, Brunei. 2 cars collides and 2 people died on the spot. Luckily, our bikers only suffers serious injuries. But I’m still in shock that my best girlfriend was one of the victim who involve in this accident. And as I’m writing this, she’s still in Emergency Room, trying to recover.

As I spoke to Hun Hun over the phone just now, we both thanks to Allah, the Al-Mighty, that we didn’t join for this Crocker Ride. I would be guessing, I’ll be kissing the road 3 hours ago, and now painfully in Emergency Room with doctors and nurses around me to save me. Or maybe I would be in the morgue. If say that Hun Hun get out of this accident safely, he’ll be facing a hard and painful time, meeting the parents. So much of strong bonding. But praise to Allah, that we’ve decided to stay, instead of going.

Maybe HIM have a bigger agenda for the both of us, that we might overlooked it. And maybe HIM wants the both of us to take note on what’s happening around you.

To the accident victim’s family, my deepest condolences. We’re sorry for our riders mistakes that takes the life of your love ones. To the down bikers, get well soon. We pray for your health from far.

Its been a while

Its been a while since my last post in May. Been very busy with work and with life. After the April incident, I met someone which I can call a soulmate. He's in every way have the same interest as I do. It took a while when we both realize that we both are in love. I hope I'm making the right move.

There's a lot of incident happens after my last post. My not so happy but happy Jakarta trip with my soulmate sister, Kartina. The relationship grew stronger for both of us (me n Hun hun). Workloads exploding, my final exams, H1N1 and many more....

My favorite director passed away few weeks ago. She will be missed. MJ mystery death. And so it goes...

I will try to make it up to write more, but at this moment, I'm having a writer's block!!! :D

When a boy don't listen to what woman says....

My friend once told me that, there are some guys, that when you met them, and feels that there is no connection between you and him, you should run the opposite way. I did otherwise. I tried it first. When I felt that there is no connection between the two of us, then I run the opposite way.

What happen was, I met this younger man ( a reason for me to believe not to get involve with immature, younger man) perhaps 2 months ago. We was introduced by my aunt. (Well basically, he's like my aunt's younger brother) I thought that he would be different. So, I give it a try.

What should I do, if a guy, threaten you on un-logic backgrounds, insulted you in a way, threatened to commit physical abuse and then ask for forgiveness and say that I'm the one, that he couldn't live without me and love me unconditionally... and then repeat again insulting and threatening???

CHILDISH AND IMMATURE!!! For not respecting my space, my achievement and my sweats to accomplish to where I am now!!! These kind of guy makes other guys look ridiculous and desperate. I'm not that desperate to quit everything that I've accomplished for and devote my whole life to this person?? Talking about status??? I would not be in the relationship if I'm so concern about status.

To this guy, please change your attitude. You know that no woman could stand your anger and abusive behavior. I'm not your mother that could tell you what to do and what not to do all through your life. I've been moving in and out of love relationship and I've learn so much out of it. I live longer in the world than you do and know things that you might not see. Think far ahead in the future. Your the eldest, show some dignity towards your siblings and your family. If you can't respect me as your once-upon-a-time-girlfriend, respect me as your elder sister, coz for God's sake, I am older than you!!!

Think farther ahead. Don't take things easily to deal things in life. Giving you more chances after all the chances I gave to you, I don't think so. After the insults, the threaten of physical abuse, you know I'm seriously against men hitting woman. Your the last person on earth that I rather be with. And even if your the last man standing, I would rather die than ever wanting to be with you.

Be realistic. Take this as your lesson in life. Improve yourself. Show that you can change. Maybe you deserve someone better than this person that you've insulted!! Good bye!!!

AL-FATIHAH

My deepest condolences to the family of our Chief Minister, Tan Sri Abdul Taib Mahmud for the demise of their beloved wife and mother, Puan Sri Hajah Laila Taib, this evening at 3.45pm at their residence in Demak Jaya.

She's a kind lady with a good gesture. She surely will be miss.

I share your grieve. Be strong and pray for her. Semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman, insyaAllah.... Al-Fatihah...

Severe Acute Twilight Syndrome

As the title goes, im suffering with the severer acute Twilight Syndrome. Kathy and I were like so obsessed with Twilight that we even memorize the lines and scripts. We need help! And now, I'm starting to read the books, which will occupy most of my nights at home.

I just got back from BBF 2009 last Sunday, in the ultimate most heavy rain of the year. ( not really that heavy though) but then again, it was quite a ride. I enjoyed my ride to the ultimate most of my life.

It was tiring but I had a great Monday....I got my Twilight and New Moon book on Monday, people that i wanted to know, texted me and like what Selwyn said to me, i'm suffering the severe acute Twilight syndrome. I need help... hahahahahahahaha...

So over it now...

I'm so over it now. At this point of time, I don't care what people want to say about me. I know, with what they say, will hurt my family eventually. But one thing for sure, everything that I do, its between me and God.

For as long as I live my life, I know sometimes I could be a bitch.. but I don't bitches around. I have my ground that I stand on. I live my life the fullest and I don't depend on others to survive. I have my own money, my house, my own car and bike.. my stuff and belongings and my pride. If ever anyone wants to leave me, they don't make me poorer, but they made me stronger. Stronger to face life and to continue on.

A reason for me to believe that, I DONT BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE!!! Marriage is for those who don't have a reason to stay alone and can't be alone. Marriage nowadays don't brings any harmony or spirited value of a tying a knot between 2 person in love. No such thing as love anymore nowadays.

They love each other.. but not for marriage. Marriage is for people who think their problem would be solved with another problem.

What am I babling about... hahahahaha... so... for what ever reason my moods off this week... i'm letting you go now.. And i'm so over you at this point of time. I'm closing you and putting u into a very small, tiny box.. .which i don't want to see you and your families face anymore... if i ever sees you, i will make sure that you would be a totally stranger for me...

adios amigos....

Rough February

Its a rough ride for me in February. My beloved grandfather passed away on the 9th of February due to his asthma attack. He died on his way to the hospital. I was in time to go back to pay my last respect and for his funeral. It was a rough week for me. He will be missed by all of his kids and grandchildren. My brother, Afrie came back for him too. He's close to Nek Hj Saibon. Nadya burst into tears and couldn't hold on to her emotion when she heard the news.

Then, there was my so called "sister-in-law". This case happened since last year. All these while, I looked up on her due to the misery she have during her lifetime. And pity her for what the husband (my so called "brother" - abang angkat) who is a police officer, put her through a lot of misery and rough marriage.

She screw up, when she decided to put a revenge on her husband, the way that her husband treated her. She met someone else and fall in love. I didn't know much about the details, as the only thing that I knew was what she's been telling me. But i don't have any evidence that would support me in anyway.. i mean, i don't see them going out together and everything.

Thing got worst, when my 'police brother' found out about her. I was interogated to tell him the truth. He's being a police, of course he knows how to make me talk. And finally, the true side (which i assume to be the truth) reveals. This was not the first time she did this. He knew all around his friend would tell what going on and what's not. But then again, he never reveal anything until up to he has every evidence that would make the sister-in-law drop her jaw. And of course, she suspected me for telling my 'police brother' about her and to make it real, my cousin accidentally told her that i was the one that told her husband about everything.

Now, im the bad person here.. She hates me to the guts. I thing til the world end she would hate me. She still says that I am the reason if they are divorce. She threw me out of their life and telling everyone that how bad person i am.

Well, to this point, I don't care. I don't mind losing one more friend. I've been losing them through out my life. One more doesn't make any difference. I have a few people that i could call friend. To this 'my so called no-more-sister-in-law' i was the last person that he(ur husband) found out, knew about you. He even have the details on the things that i don't even know. He also even have evidence on everything that you do. So, u want to put this blame on me, bring it on. Coz i know 1 thing for sure, i told u before to be very careful and dont play with fire. But u did.. so, deal with the consiquences... do not put blames on others so that u don't look guilty... face it as an adult... dont be a child... u're a mother of 2, you should know better....


-anak dara tua tak sedar diri- me!